Improve argument processing around UseHeavyMonitors

JDK-8276901 improved the implementation of the UseHeavyMonitors flag, however, the argument checking for it should not use fatal() but instead report a warning or error message, and return false accordingly.
Also for platforms where UseHeavyMonitors is not fully implemented it should not just be a warning but also cause initialization to not continue. If we are
going to return false then the error message should go to the error stream not be issued as a warning().